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Don't Be Nervous: How to Get Rid of Sexual Performance Anxiety

Published February 23rd, 2021 by Blog Team

Did you know that Sexual Performance Anxiety (SBA) affects 9-25% of men? If you feel like you're alone by having sexual performance anxiety, take comfort in knowing it's more common than you think. The good news is that there are also ways to get rid of it. 

Sex is meant to be a great way to release stress and tension, not to mention fun! Unfortunately, instead of enjoyment, you might be feeling embarrassment and anxiety. If you're ready to learn how to get rid of sexual performance anxiety, you've come to the right place. 

Read on to learn more.

Anxiety and Sex 

Before embarking on your journey to combatting your performance anxiety, you'll need to understand where it stems from. That way, you are aware of the cause's root and be more equipped to find the right solutions. 

Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health issues in the United States, so it's important to normalize that it happens to many people; you don't need to feel shame about seeking help. Anxiety is essentially the 'fight or flight' response that has helped humanity overcome danger throughout existence. 

The chemicals released into the body during this process can put a damper on your sexual experiences. What should be enjoyment from receiving attention from your sexual partner becomes an immediate threat. People who have generalized anxiety in other aspects of their lives are likely to experience it during sex.

It can be linked to trauma, such as sexual abuse, that makes you apprehensive about sex. Other reasons are a change in hormones, chronic pain, or even subpar sexual education! When you teach people that sex is something to be ashamed of, it can make you nervous about having sex.

The good news is that there is treatment. 

Examine Other Methods of Intimacy

Looking at other ways of exploring intimacy is a great way to improve sexual performance. Sex isn't the only method to connect, despite what movies and tv shows have told you. There are other types of intimacy you can explore with your partner to build the confidence you need to start enjoying sex comfortably. 

Try to explore things like 'sensate focus,' which involves touching your partner and being touched for your own pleasure. This is meant to help you reconnect with your sexual feelings. 

If the thought of genital touching makes you uncomfortable, try slowly progressing to that point. Begin with other body parts and work your way towards sex at a pace that feels right for you.

Identify what gives you anxiety and find a way to alleviate that by focusing on what makes you feel good. Many times, anxiety revolves around penetration. You can avoid that specific act by learning to enjoy other intimate sexual activities until you build the confidence to go further.

Obviously, you must discuss this with your sexual partner, so they're supportive of your choices and never pressure you to do anything you're not interested in. Find the things that please you and work from there. 

Explore Your Emotions

Many people believe that men have fewer emotions than women. This is not true, men are emotional beings, but they are taught to repress it! Not only is this harmful for men, but it can be detrimental to an otherwise healthy relationship.

Having sexual performance anxiety as a man can bring about a lot of negative feelings. It might even become an endless anxiety loop full of shame. Instead of letting those emotions overwhelm you, explore them freely. 

You're taught all your life that men shouldn't cry or that any sign of vulnerability is negative, but that is harmful thinking. Find out where your personal anxiety comes from and understand that it is normal and okay. Being kind to yourself will bring you closer to finding the help you need, especially if you're willing to be open about what you're feeling.

Seek Therapy

Speaking of being open about what you're feeling, it might not be enough to find a solution on your own. Therapy is a great way to speak to someone who can help you identify the causes of your anxiety and find ways to combat it. You'll wonder how you ever went through anything without it.

Look for a sex therapist in your area and contact them. You can get an idea of their approach and see if it's a fit for what you're looking for. If it doesn't work out, rest assured that there's a therapist out there for you. 

Chat With Your Doctor

In addition to therapy, you might want to talk to a doctor, especially if your anxiety comes from Erectile Dysfunction. Treatments for ED are often successful, and the sooner you talk to a doctor, the sooner you'll find treatment. Your doctor might recommend a sexual performance enhancer that might be ideal for your particular circumstance. 

How to Get Rid of Sexual Performance Anxiety

It's no secret that anxiety and sex are linked. It's easy to think otherwise because you're bombarded with the idea that everyone is having great sex all the time. The truth is, that's not always the case.

Yes, sex should be enjoyable and fun, but it's okay to admit that it isn't. To improve your sex life, you'll need to know how to get rid of sexual performance anxiety. There are plenty of options to help you do this; whether you try one or all of them is up to you.

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